About You!

Hello Stranger….or maybe we already kinda know each other…

I’ve kept an ongoing list in my Notes app detailing my ideal partner ever since I got dumped nearly three years ago. I guess I was tired of feeling like I had to settle for any affection I could get and realized maybe I should actually figure out what I want (which isn’t just anything I can get). And maybe I am a bit particular but I actually think a lot of what I like and what I want out of a future partner is pretty bare minimum. And keep in mind – if I personally let you know about this website, then that probably means I think you’re hot and I’m already interested.

A lot of these qualities are things you won’t necessarily find out about someone until you’ve been dating them for a bit. But I figured it’s worthwhile to share exactly the sort of relationship I’m (ideally) looking for. But I’m also not interested in moving too fast with anyone; I feel very comfortable just building whatever initial attraction is there, taking time, and then we decide if this is something serious or just something fun. I’m pretty open to it all right now! And even though I’m (mostly) monogamous, I’m open to exploring poly dynamics/being with someone that’s poly.

Also this list is quite long and maybe even quite intense but I think it just shows how much thought I’ve put into the sort of partnership I want in the time I’ve spent single and reflecting!

So with that said here’s what I’m looking for:

Physical Attributes
(most of the stuff in this particular section is flexible; this is more guidance on what I usually find attractive but nothing rigid at all)

• at least 5’8”, can be taller (sorry I’m 5’8″ and I’m not woke enough to pretend I don’t engage in height discrimination)
• cares about how he dresses/has a personal sense of style (even if it’s different from mine)
• preferably dark, non-straight hair but can be flexible on this
• preferably dark eyes but can be flexible on this (as long as their eyes aren’t cold and scary)
• nice smile
• minimal facial hair (no beards)
• ideally within two years of my age, absolute minimum 23 absolute maximum 37
• preferably no tattoos/no visible tattoos, but maybe can be flexible (I’m a hypocrite I have tattoos)

Personality Attributes
(from this point forward I’m a bit less flexible although I don’t expect anyone to check every box)

• leftist but not annoying about it
• cannot be more sensitive than I am (….sorry…)
• good listener, empathetic
• cares for me as much as I care for them, will try to put me first as much as I try to put them first (i.e. mutual self sacrifice with the other person in mind)
• open to compromise; not a dictator
• confrontational, good at expressing needs, doesn’t make me “guess” or “figure out” why they’re upset; doesn’t stonewall during conflict
• understands me DEEPLY!
• charismatic and charming to everyone they meet
• a bit pretentious without veering towards dickheadish
• won’t let me walk all over him with my brattiness (because I sometimes get like that..)
• don’t take themselves too seriously and aren’t afraid to be goofy
• wants to take care of me, views masculinity as an obligation to protect and adore their partner (so just the chivalrous stuff without the toxic stuff); doesn’t want to let me lift a finger even though he’s aware that I can
• very vocal about his attraction towards/appreciation of me
• is proud of me/of the fact that we’re together; talks positively about us/me; I’d also like to really be proud of him and always telling people how lucky I am to have found him; I don’t want a man that’s ashamed or embarrassed of me; I want a man that’s excited to introduce me to his circle and show me off

Sex & Intimacy
(I’m going to try to keep this as PG as possible since this is a public website with my face attached but as an adult it seems important to touch upon it)

• can’t keep their hands off me (I’m a fan of physical affection but I especially like when I don’t have to be the person always initiating)
• doesn’t see sex as a pointless endeavor/will never complain that our sex life is keeping them from productivity
• is a very enthusiastic and generous lover (because I am and I like when the energy is reciprocated and we’re both giving as much as we’re receiving)
• capable of having conversations about kink/sex/intimacy with me without being childish/feeling discomfort/withholding info out of shame
• likes PDA (likes to stand close to me in public, arm on my shoulders, handholding, doesn’t mind kissing hello or goodbye in front of other people; just comes across as a very touchy loving person)
• there’s more that can be said here but I need to maintain some mystery and privacy…

Career / Life Goals

• knows what they want to do/be and is working towards a goal; I’m fine with making more money than them so long as they do have an actual job and passions
• wants a family one day (can be flexible on this; as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that even though I’ve always seen myself as one day being a mother, it’s under very specific circumstances… My own children aren’t a necessity and being childless could offer some freedoms. However, family and community are still very important. It takes a village, etc. I WILL be a cool aunt and my hubby must be prepared to be a cool uncle.)
• wants to get married (and help me have the wedding of my dreams even if he doesn’t care about weddings much)
• wants the above in a reasonable timeframe (I know marriage is like an economic decision or whatever first and foremost. I have no aspirations of home ownership that would necessarily require marriage, and especially if kids aren’t in the picture there’s really no need to get married. but I do want commitment. I do want to live together. I also want a ring and a party maybe more than I want a certificate. I just don’t want to be referred to as someone’s “girlfriend” when I’m well into my 30s and if we’ve been together for 5+ years)
  

SOOOOO….Am I asking for a lot?
If you’re still interested after reading all that and think you can fit the bill,
BOOK A DATE! or REACH OUT TO ME VIA MY CONTACT INFO BELOW